Mukku has always been relentless when it comes to watching scary movies. It’s like how I sometimes take antihistamines to eat prawns — yes, there are chances of my throat swelling up and me dying. But prawns, yummy. Mukku can’t watch a horror movie without freaking out and freaking everyone around her out. But that hasn’t stopped her from giving me twenty years of material to write this post.
The last scary movie to which we went together was The Conjuring 2, in Trivandrum. We were turning 29, had newly acquired double chins, and pretty much looked like we were there to chaperone all the teenagers and early-twentiers in the vicinity, which was everyone except the two of us and the popcorn chettan.
It’s hard to be old and stupid in the town you were young and stupid in. Especially at movie theatres you were frequently young and stupid in. Yet, we all have that one friend who always overreacts in cinema halls, so some kind of stupid is inevitable. In my case/life, Mukku is that friend. And when I say overreact in movie theatres, I don’t just mean when the movie is playing.
By the time Conjuring was over, everyone in the theatre was more traumatised by incessant screams (Ammachiyeee, enne rakshicho… Ayyo, enikk ithonnum kaanan vayyaaye…) peppered with loud remarks on how youngsters nowadays are very fit and have great bodies. In conclusion, Valak – 0. Mukku – 1.
Our horror movie experiences are not just limited to movie halls. Once, Mukku and I went for a sleepover at a work friend’s place. We watched Paranormal Activity 2 and shat in our pants. Then for some reason, someone thought it would be a good idea to rewatch The Ring to get over the first movie. Ten minutes into the movie, all of us died. Then someone had the brilliant idea to watch Thilakkam to get over The Ring. For the rest of the night we had to sit through Mukku cackling at Dileep mischievously disrobing unsuspecting men in his village.
But then again, our horror movie experiences are not just limited to times when both of us were in the same room. Our protagonist once called me up in the middle of the night and asked me to stay on the phone until she finished watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Listening to her was like watching a pug walk into a glass door, again and again — you want to intervene and end the misery, but it’s also hilarious.
When you’ve been friends for some 25 years you are bound to watch a few horror movies together. But how did I become the antihistamine to Mukku’s horror movies? Where did it all begin?
Well, it began with a non-horror movie. Our school decided to take us for a children’s film called Johny which I think was loosely based on the life Don Bosco. Before you go ‘Oh nooo, religious indoctrination by convent schools’, you should know that the movie was directed by the same filmmaker who directed Yoddha and Kya Kool Hai Hum — a man with many perspectives, I must say.
There is a very long scene in Johny where everyone freaks out because a basket mysteriously starts moving around. Mukku never had pets so she was not familiar with the concept of inanimate objects suddenly coming to life. She just lost her shit and after sometime I lost all feeling in my arm because she was squeezing the orange juice out of it. Finally, a chicken or a cat emerged from under the basket. Wait, did I tell you that it was a very very long scene? In Mukku’s own words, it’s the movie that ‘cemented our friendship forever’.
In other news, Mukku’s kid is going for a movie from her summer camp this week. I hope she finds her antihistamine too.